Ask These Girls

The act of betrayal can be the cause of a tumultuous activity inside a person’s state of being. Resentment and anger can easily become the cornerstone’s of one’s life, leading to hatred and a lingering bitterness, not only for the offending partner, but for the total of life. To survive infidelity takes a level of being that we are not used to using. We are faced with the overwhelming challenge of self-examination.

All of this can be extraordinarily painful. But, when we do re-emerge from the sting of betrayal it is possible to be the better for it, with a new appreciation for every component of our lives. That includes the betraying partner and our committed relationship. We can learn how to trust again. All things are possible.

The road to recovery is a long process. This isn’t a thing which will take place over night. When faced with the act of cheating, usually the initial decision we make is, “That is it. I’m done with this.” Pride has been annihilated. A tremendous hurt is inflicted. A trust has been obliterated.

Given a certain amount of time, couples must come to an accord that can completely change their lives.  Not a decision to made rashly. We come face to face with just how much our partner/spouse and that union means to us. Just how much pain are we willing to endure to keep it alive? The answers we find to these questions may add a dimension to our existence we did not know was even possible. The most crucial key is give all this enough time.

We are a like a miner in a dark shaft trying to discover a way out and if there’s any hidden treasure along the way. There is danger at every turn. We do not even know if there’s a way out. A call for our total attention is demanded. Which is a thing we are’nt used to giving to anything, ever. Our being will not be the same. Our lives can never be the same again. Something new is being born, one way or the other. And, birth is always painful.

If you find yourself in this dark remote place of surviving infidelity, I would recommend something drastic. Quit searching online. Gather all the books you have on the subject and put them away. Stop listening to family and friends. When everything has been locked away, turn inward, both to yourself and your spouse/partner and ask the painful questions.

Now, there is no one who can save you or that old relationship. Do not rely on the experience of someone else to answer the call of your life. When everything has been put on the shelf, and you begin to ask the right questions, you then have a chance to contact a level of being which is fully capable of giving you the answers you seek. Quite possibly, they may not be the answers for which you hoped. They may not be the answers that are comfortable.

A betrayal has occured. There is something drastically wrong that demands we come to attend to it. Perhaps it could be that in challenge we unlock what is behind the heart of love and beyond the veil of self. It is the journey of a thousand miles, walked on a razor’s edge. Only a few come to the end. Only a few arrive. The anguish and the pain give us the ticket to ride.